WhatsIn-AName

Stephanie

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No Going Back by WhatsIn-AName, literature

Literature

No Going Back

Who ever said forgiveness was an option? The alchemy of the heavens, Playing with your fate, Exudes frequencies of laughter As you sit there and beg. Your plastic words, Balanced on crystalline falsehood, Fall on empty ears and sullen eyes. Their colour long since disappeared. You tried and failed, A wrong turn at that fateful divide, But you checked your conscience map too far into the journey. And now you've lost me. For good. And there's no going back. My patient heart has no tolerance for you, So you might as well get off your knees And dry your eyes, Because your door has closed. And my spite has locked it. And no mat

The Forgotten by WhatsIn-AName, literature

Literature

The Forgotten

The snowflake dances on the window, A moist streak dripping slowly. The mark of holiday sentiment That grips the woman coldly. Grasping her cane tightly, As she slowly lifts her frame, She glances around her apartment With a heavy ounce of shame. With fatigue and illness plaguing her, Housekeeping skills unknown, She's no other choice but to wallow In the filth of her own home. Her hygiene now is questionable, Hands stiff with dirt and tension, For there is no soap that she can buy On her measly monthly pension. There is a table cluttered with trinkets, Christmas gifts of old, Useless in aiding her condition, But worth thei

Summer Dreams by WhatsIn-AName, literature

Literature

Summer Dreams

Back at your house, We sit on your porch. I can see the sunset reflected in our eyes, As you take a gumball from your pockets and chew. Slow and methodical, A philosophical journey, As you silently watch the sky. The sugar, dancing in your mouth, Seducing your tastebuds, Running through your veins. The bubbles coming and going. Take a breath, Take it slow, The air moves across your tongue. Hold it. Feel it. Taste it. Release it. The gum expands with every breath, Encompassing within it the summers past, Recycled memories. Your cycle continues, Strengthened by your faith. Breathe, as the stories grow. Stop. The orb is

Reality Supression by WhatsIn-AName, literature

Literature

Reality Supression

Pain sears through my body, Your crimson words piercing my ears And stopping my heart. The hurt you feel, The anger you see, Has suddenly come down on me. You close your eyes tightly, And turn your head away in shame, Slowly walk away. Motionless and rigid, Sitting in deafening silence, Replaying events. The falling tears, The enduring pain, In having let you down again. I sit alone and wait, Listening to your frustration, Shockwave absorption. Swathed in disappointment, Responsible for your anger, And your hateful words. The empty gaze, The sullen eyes, See nothing but life's own demise. Slowly the time passes, I se

Origami Stars by WhatsIn-AName, literature

Literature

Origami Stars

With my heart in my throat, Blocking my airways and clouding my thoughts, I sit. Sheets of coloured paper, Spread about the floor in a sequential manner, Stare back at me with a vibrancy contradictory to my life. With swift motion, cool steel breaks the intensity, Its light spilling onto the floor In a pile of skinny strips, weak and lifeless. Delicate hands pick up the infant strip, Careful not to trigger instability And run against its hidden knife. Every fold, so intricately made Envelopes my tension in the quickly closing space, Entrapping my thoughts and allowing me to breathe. A seal, so small and forceful, Securing the

Untitled by WhatsIn-AName, literature

Literature

Untitled

Echoing through my body, Temporarily stalling the heart, The vibration of devastation and the death of a saint. Like molten iron the tears burn, Intoxicating my eyes with their mercury touch, Unnaturally familiar, yet so comforting. Innocence so quickly dissolved with the ever changing world, maturing before my eyes into a dark unknown. And so I weep. And cannot sleep, fearing the uncertainty. And the world has suddenly become a darker place. Serenity and peace which once eased my spirit with its feeble hand has been stolen, and not yet replaced. And while so intangible, I feel hollow. "Heavenly father, who art in heaven"

The Point of No Return by WhatsIn-AName, literature

Literature

The Point of No Return

Glancing down the pathway At the point of no return. The sign sits dead and lonely, While in the fog my future looms. Thoughts are swallowed by apprehension, With only faith as a guide, To make a right decision Or bring truth to all my lies. An obligation to continue On my predetermined quest, Yet a disabling fear Weighs my feet to uncomfortable rest. With deception far ahead of me, And depravity trailing behind, My conscience twisting violently, And an empty grasp of time. The sun has long since dissolved, As my innocence years before. Still in vigil with the lonely sign And the dark, yet open, door. Memories of a distant

A Self-Inflicted Perspective by WhatsIn-AName, literature

Literature

A Self-Inflicted Perspective

Cold amongst the warmth that passes, As transcriptions of sympathy are molded into pity, Grasping for a solid piece of metal to light the way. With only her hands for security, Creating the transactions that bring her piece of mind, She violently clutches herself and waits for another day. Recycled walls of fallen fortresses, Those that once belonged to others in her place, Stare back at her in silence amidst the deafening wind. Endless prayers for something new, An angel to remove her from the pit where she has fallen, Go constantly unanswered as there lies no truth within. The bringer of her own demise, Dissolving gradually her

This I Swear to You by WhatsIn-AName, literature

Literature

This I Swear to You

My eyes - entrance to my very soul, a possession only you can hold. A gateway to the world I see and perceptions of truth and beauty. My lips - bearers of word and song, solely to you do they belong, diminishing sorrow and emptiness and any doubts you may possess. My hands - to deliver comfort and love, and work for things you dream of, to gently wipe away your tears, and shield your heart from any fears. My heart - source of all my love and prayer, of which only you are aware.

Fatal Indecision by WhatsIn-AName, literature

Literature

Fatal Indecision

Countless hours of isolation Amidst the depth of contemplation Erasing the past with unanswered questions Tears fall down my face As I struggle to find my place The doors are closing quickly and I'm falling from grace My thoughts are so unclear Sensibility tainted with fear Dissolving with the hopes that I can persevere Uncomfortable in my own skin Living to the pace of my internal violin Drowning in self-persuasion and my time is wearing thin The choice to live to my own degree Or as the person I used to be A decision I am bound to make

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Unwillful Blocking by WhatsIn-AName, literature

Literature

Unwillful Blocking

Hand in hand we walk together, Braving the unusually dreary weather. Step by step, stride by stride, Across the walk we slowly glide. Your lips move and yet I hear no words. Heat slowly emanating from your fingertips, How badly I want to stop your lips. Leaving goosebumps against my skin, As if some sort of immortal sin. My mind can't seem to grasp what you say. My heart begins to quicken, As my blood begins to thicken. Your heat crawls through my veins, While suddenly it rains. Is this what love feels like? You stop your steady pace, And we unexpectedly embrace. My body warms with your divinity, And I pray for infinity. Yo

Decomposition by WhatsIn-AName, literature

Literature

Decomposition

Mind searching for words, To tell you what I'm feeling. I can't seem to find them right now. I know there's more to it, More than I can see. Just waiting for it to come to me somehow. Everything is changing Faster than I can follow, And it's almost too much to bare. My sanity is fading, Every passing day it fails. You're not the only one who's getting scared. I see you watching me, Questioning my motives. Trying to guess who I am. I wish I could help you, Uncover this smothering doubt. God, my life is such a scam. Staring at the wall, And the pictures are fading. Nothing seems clear anymore. I'm losing control, As the

A New Day by WhatsIn-AName, literature

Literature

A New Day

If God could grant me just one thing, Upon entrance to the utopian world, I would ask that forever remain today. Nothing overly complicated, Or requiring drastic action, Just that my happiness will never go away. Tell Devastation to rest now, And Despair to disappear, For they are no longer welcome. All those that try to inhibit me, Or bring unnecessary wrong, To my endless bliss they must succumb. The clouds have parted way, While brilliance shines on through. Warmth from the rays dancing upon my cheeks. My lungs fill with purity, As inside-out I feel clean, And the world no longer seems to be so bleak. Gratitude is my virt

Screaming by WhatsIn-AName, literature

Literature

Screaming

Screaming in a faceless crowd, Monochrome and gray. Silence. Walking past me with neutral similarity, Expressions lifeless and still. Grasping desperately at glimpses of change, A hope that something tangible exists beneath the surface. Praying for variation, A break to the conformity. Ignorance. Shameless self-involvement, Shadows casted with the blinders. Breathing shallow breaths, The air cold and still as death. Glancing frantically around, In search of one innocent soul, Untouched by their surroundings. And until I find that crack in the uniform plane of glass, I will remain here screaming.

Subconscious Desires by WhatsIn-AName, literature

Literature

Subconscious Desires

The room is blinding as the sunlight spills in from behind the curtains. I jum out of bed, pull my neatly folded clothes out of my closet, and get dressed. Just as I'm fastening my belt buckle, I hear a knock on my door. My mom walks in all smiles, her curly brown hair gently bouncing on her shoulders. She gives me a huge and plays with my hair, telling me how beautiful I am, how proud she is and how much she loves me. I can feel my smile stretch from ear to ear. This must be complete and undisputed happiness I'm feeling, and suddenly all is right in the world, just standing here with my mother.

Fallen Freedom by WhatsIn-AName, literature

Literature

Fallen Freedom

( Members of government are gathered in the Presidential office. Freedom is talking with members of his administration on a new international decision as we open the scene) FREEDOM: My fellow Americans, lend me your ears And allow for my voice to be all that you hear. The time has arisen for me to make a decision, One that requires the utmost of precision. Today I will touch upon many a thing Which will cause for the nation entirely to ring Across the land on what has been said Regarding the ideas that run through

Emptiness by WhatsIn-AName, literature

Literature

Emptiness

Darkness cloaks the walls, Shadowed faded memories. Vanishing as quickly as they came. Rain drips softly through the ceiling, Mingling with the tears. Collecting sullenly on the floor. The dress sits ragged and torn, Faded from the sun. Sitting as it has since days before. Have love. Want love. Need love. Lost love. Breath strained away by the frost. Lack of motivation. No anticipation. Everything dead and lost. Skin is rough from lack of care. Hair resting lifeless. Eyes seeing nothing but gray. The air is damp from crying, And I just feel like dying, As if my soul has not already fled. Abandoned with my mind, Struggl

Hopeless Delusions by WhatsIn-AName, literature

Literature

Hopeless Delusions

Admired you from afar, Not wanting to taint what was so perfect being seen. Apprehension feeds me, Yet drives my mind insane. How thoughts of you consumed me, Occupied my time. You had such a presence, Without really having any presence at all. Contemplating possibilities with false understanding, Of what could have been. Or not have been. Ridculousness comes from a lack of knowledge, Not only of you but of myself, And frustration in not understanding The workings of my heart. Disappearing so fast, And yet I still pray, That eventually you will come along my way.

Passion by WhatsIn-AName, literature

Reasoning by WhatsIn-AName, literature

Literature

Reasoning

Staring at the ceiling, Watching the world go by. The darkness of my memories Twinkling in my eyes. Surrounded by uncertainty, With only falsehood to gain, Focusing on nothing As I slowly go insane. Silhouettes of faces, Familiarity now broken and lost, Straining to bring clarity At any given cost. The deterioration of my mind, As my cells burst one by one, With the hopes that my paradise Will come with the rising sun. Everything seems so hopeless, As I lay here frigid and still, My body growing heavy By my greatly weathered will. Worthless state of living, Suffering more with each passing day, Diminishing hopes that ev

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AIT by kindred, literature

Literature

AIT

She promised him it wouldn't last long But she wasn't right yet; it wasn't right yet She left him alone and fumbling for some tangible Explanation to why she had to go. I didn't have choice. The wrong people seemed to fall in with her like a magnet. 20 miles away, or maybe even a thousand. She called and left messages to ease his fears. So he would know she was alive, and still, not to love her. I didn't have a choice. She spilled some red wine on a guest of his one night. She was beaten and stomped to the point she pleaded and cried For her daddy to stop! She'd be a good girl now! She promises to be a good girl! I didn't hav

His Name Was Chuck E. by xonlyindreamsx, literature

Literature

His Name Was Chuck E.

The car was stuffy and cramped. The rain tumbling down upon the roof of the exhausted Tempo showed no signs of letting up anytime soon. The sheer velocity of the howling wind in conjunction with the sheets rain of spilling out from the clouds above created just enough noise to drown out the music creeping past tired speakers. A little girl sighed in despair as she asked her father why they were here for what was quite possibly the fourth time in the span of a minute. He said nothing and continued to hum along to music he could not hear. Clearly frustrated, the little girl tugged at a few loose pieces of thread on the head-rest in front of h

What by DreamGirl86, literature

Literature

What

Scares on my arm and what for? A faded love Scares on my heart and what for? Someone so special you would steal the moon I held on forever to that faded love Held on to the idea that it would once come back Life works in funny ways Gives you false hopes high Hope that he would someday come back Who knew simple gestures would be so large in the end You never really cared Never really loved It's hard to capture something so special If I could I'd put it in a box to keep forever Pull it out when I felt low Made another when times were good Felt so good, felt so right Felt so wrong because it felt so right Why did you fall into

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The Forgotten by WhatsIn-AName, literature

Literature

The Forgotten

WhatsIn-AName

About WhatsIn-AName

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Canada
Deviant for 19 years
She / Her

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My Bio

Current Residence: Toronto, ON
Favourite genre of music: any genre really EXCEPT for stereotypical country
Favourite cartoon character: SpongeBob SquarePants
Personal Quote: Be yourself, and nobody else, and all will turn out okay

Favourite Movies

there are way too many to list here, but today it will be Star Wars I-VI!!

Favourite Bands / Musical Artists

Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, Tragically Hip, The Beatles, Muse, Green Day, Rush, anything classic rock

Tools of the Trade

pencil and paper

Other Interests

field hockey! YAY! Also tae kwon do, writing and drawing, anything involving politics and law

Posts

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WhatsIn-AName

Jan 7, 2006

That's the way, boys!

0 min read

OMG THEY'VE DONE IT AGAIN!!!! Our National Junior Team won gold AGAIN!!  Second year in a row!!!  YEAH!  I'm so proud of our boys! I'd like to point out that Pogge is freaking PHENOMENAL, Staal rocks my socks, and Downie damn well deserved to be on that team!!!  All of these players are outstanding, and they deserve nothing but congrats from the international community for sheer superiority on the hockey rink! 5-0!!  As awesome as that is, I must admit that my heart kind of broke when all the Russian players were crying....that was kind of sad...:( But we won!!!  ALRIGHT!!! :)

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WhatsIn-AName

Jan 2, 2006

wOOt!!!

0 min read

YEAH!  I FINALLY SUBMITTED SOMETHING!!! Wow, it's been so long since I've been able to write anything for fun...essays certainly aren't fun, or at least not always, which is all I've had time to do.  I certainly hope I'll be able to write more now, I've missed it so much! I hope you enjoy this new one!  Hopefully more to come! Stephanie:floating:

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WhatsIn-AName

May 30, 2005

Insert lightsabre sound effect here

0 min read

So I FINALLY saw Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith today...or yesterday as I'm writing this at 2:16 in the morning, and... OH MY FREAKING GOD it was AMAZING!!!!!!!! It was so much better than the first two, and in my opinion the best of the saga second to Empire Strikes Back.  I've grown up on Star Wars, so I'm a huge fan and everything, and this was an absolutely amazing way to complete the story.  George Lucas is a genius!! I'm too tired to go into details right now, but seriously if for some strange reason you're having doubts about seeing it, I'm telling you that you need to go see it!!  This episode has so much more intensity